Present Words

I cut off my hair.

2012-01-18T09:48:00.001-05:00

It became symbolic. The old feelings grew out my hair. Now they're cut off. New year, new hope, new hair. Phoenix is slowly rising. It will take time before she flies but from the ashes, through the fire she's growing.

Money salt

2012-01-12T10:47:00.001-05:00

Time and money is like salt.
It's needed, it adds to everything, but it can be damaging and never the main course in itself.
Money is oh so important to get the materialistic things we need to be able to focus on other qualities in life.

Usually I'm pretty good with abstract concepts... Time and money doesn't add anything in itself, it's all about how you use it. The meaningless of it by itself makes it hard for me to grasp it, to value it. Even though I'm very well aware of its necessity and dire impact on life.

Help

2012-01-10T07:56:00.001-05:00

To ask for help when you need it is not only sometimes the strong thing to do but also the only way to learn how to solve certain situations. If I put it like this it becomes even more obvious; if you don't have the answer to a question, you need to ask someone else. Gather information from other sources to find the answers within you.

By identifying your limits you learn how to push them forward. Like any training or school you can't teach yourself everything, you need other people sometimes.
That's why you also, every now and then, need to be that person that shares your own knowledge, that you might have acquired with the help of others. The more you share and the more you ask and listen to others, the more our communal wisdom grows.

To do, what to do

2012-01-10T05:35:00.001-05:00

I'm going back and forth between anxiety, about my miles long to do list, and determination.

I can do this. I'm not gonna succumb into apathy, overwhelmed by fear and self doubt.

I just need to structure my daily life. Not run away from it, not try to hide any more. Prioritize. Deal with the uncomfortable situations. Feel the hard emotions, resolve the consequences from past actions.

This is the time to do it. This is the start.

Oh god give me strength.

A good new year...

2012-01-03T06:58:00.002-05:00

I'm unpacking boxes, sorting through a lot of stuff. The more I do the more I realize how much there is that needs to be done. The ever growing to do list. The metaphor to real life is inevitable.
I am really hoping for a good 2012 for all of us. I believe it will be a better year than last. Anyone that knows me well know that that's not a hard task... Statistically very very likely.
It scared me too. Am I ready to be happy? After a few days of contemplating I realized the answer is no. But I'm finally ready to be sad. Last year was the year it all happened. Where I lost so much. This is the year to grieve. To improve. To go forward. I'm finally ready to be sad. I don't need to distract myself, numb myself, anymore. I'm ready to feel pain. I'm ready to work through it. Last year I wasn't. It was too much to bear, too overwhelming to feel. The fear took me to even darker places but it's where I had to go in order to see where that small spark of light could be. Now I'm gonna bite down. Feel that pain. It's not going to be easy. Not going to be fun. I'm not going to be happy. Because this is not the year to be happy. This is the year to BECOME happy.

Please support me through this process. Be my friend. ...I'm talking as much to myself as to anyone else.

When will I be happy again?

2011-12-22T22:24:00.001-05:00

If the answer is never, I can't stop living my life, stop creating, stop feeling while waiting in vain. I just have to push through, feel the pain and actually be in it.

So even though I don't want to spread negative vibes and I don't want this sadness to define me I'm still gonna publish the depressive stuff that pours out from my soul.
Take it with a grain of salt.

Not so merry Christmas.

2011-12-20T15:45:00.000-05:00

Every Christmas light is like a scorn. All the pretty glitter is taunting loudly. The symbol of the tree, a repetitive reminder of what's missing.
Here we go, once again, the story repeating itself, with the not comforting exception that the very unimaginable worst has already happen.
But why not bruise that heart some more. Like if it wasn't already sore and heavy we have to make sure that pain can still be felt.
What was purposely numbed and pushed into submission got lured out, now bursting in hurting agony. The hope that was hidden in jaded emptiness woke. Now crushed into smithereens, which each tremble of fear. The naive innocence from a pure need is pounding with diseased anxiety.
A heart that hates, hope became fear, dreams turned into disappointment. This is what we learned. And yet history got repeated.
It's time to give up. Move on. Crawl back into the shell, don't even poke your nose out. Live sheltered, lonely and stay busy. Don't leave time for thoughts to wander. To sneakily grow into expectations and desires.
Why do you never learn? There is no perfection and no happy endings. Your cynicism should've told you there's a reason fairy tales ends when they do; what happens after is an ugly truth.

2011-05-26T03:17:00.001-04:00

Dreaming a life where I'm living a dream

The calm AFTER the storm ;)

2010-12-28T04:28:00.002-05:00

2010-12-27T19:10:00.001-05:00

New York is tucked in.
Under a cover of snow.
The blizzard that hit NYC two days ago gave all us high wound New Yorkers a reason to stay in, stay at home, close down our businesses and comfortably relax. Use what we already have at home. Pretend like the outside world stopped existing because of the snow.

It's so empty outside. Quiet. Streets are almost empty of cars and the car services are shut down. I don't blame them after all the cars that got stuck in the snow in the middle of the road.

But it has stopped snowing now.
So I expect New York to get back to it hectic self by tomorrow.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-27T15:03:00.005-05:00

I spent Thanksgiving with all non Americans. But I must say we did a pretty good job at celebrating this american holiday =)

Here's some before and after pics:

Before:

After:

Snowstorm vs 83 degrees

2010-11-27T13:28:00.007-05:00

This morning I received a picture from my brother in snowy Sweden and another picture from my friend in Hawaii. As I'm giggling a bit at the contrasts I'm also thinking about how much I want, need, to travel, and these two images really represents to where.

My body is craving sunshine and vacation, relaxing at a beach somewhere warm and to swim in the ocean! But my soul craves a visit where I have my roots. To go back to where I come from, the place that will always be a part of my identity. Above all, I NEED to see my family. I miss them so much it has become an aching pain I'm constantly carrying around. I also have friends there I'm missing so badly; I feel like I'm missing a part of myself.

If all goes well, cross your fingers and say a prayer please, I'll go to Sweden in February or early spring.

If I somehow could afford it that would give me enough time to go on a short vacation somewhere.

Money...ah, sigh.

So many holes to fill.

My laptop is getting older and older, soon it will retire, if it doesn't go senile first... I haven't had a camera since I lost mine about five months ago, my creativity is itching for a new one.

Being winter and all i also feel a need to improve my home, my clothes and things like a new blanket for example.

But soon I'll be climbing on the walls if I don't get out of this city! Only fun if I know I get to come back of course! =) I love my home; my New York City. Although if I don't get any other perspective soon I might grow to resent it. I really don't want that to happen because life here can be so fantastic!

.........How to prioritize?

2010-11-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

It is time to stop being scared.

2010-05-11T11:55:00.002-04:00

Some of the amazing drink decorations at Painkiller:

An amazing drink

2010-05-11T11:54:00.001-04:00

Winter!?!?!

2010-05-10T08:18:00.002-04:00

So winter is back :(

Currently 43 degrees outside! Brrr...

Yesterday it was still pretty nice outside, even though it was cold the sun was out and I played Tennis for the first time in my life. (Maybe I played like twice as a kid but I can't really remember. Loved to play badminton though (:)

It was really fun and definitely something I will do again. Especially since they have lots of tennis courts in the park right next to the building I'm living in.

But my right arm is shaking some today still, haha.

Sun through the rain

2010-05-08T15:02:00.002-04:00

The other day I got this year's first mosquito bites. It's usually awful for me, and so was these at first. Three on one knee, two on the other. But this time I treated them with aloe vera gel and I've never seen mosquito bites fade that fast on me :)

Just wanted to share that knowledge as a recommendation. =)

Managed to be pretty productive today already; I've done two loads of laundry, done dishes, organized and cleaned at home, also took a walk in the soft spring rain to the deli and did some miner grocery shopping. Loved that rain, it was raining a lot under massive clouds, but the drops were so light and the birds were singing while you could see the sun slowly working it's way through the sky. Raised my mood so much.

Hope I have some energy left to see my visiting swedes tonight =)

Good morning

2010-05-08T08:19:00.003-04:00

Been awake for a few hours already. Was hoping it would be nice weather outside so I could make the most of the day but forecast is saying thunderstorm...

Well, could be nice with some rain to get rid of some pollen :)

I've been so tired lately

but still have had a hard time sleeping.

Think I've had a cold on top of the allergies. Worst spring ever.. .when it comes to allergies.

The plan is to do something fun tonight, with some of my friends that's still here visiting NYC, so I'll get a chance to get my mind off of it. Gonna be fun! But I'm gonna need a nap midday then for sure. Siesta. =)

More Painkiller

2010-05-07T03:35:00.003-04:00

So tonight is the opening of Painkiller.

I wish I had a picture of the pretty drinks when they were just made, but they were so good that they disappeared too fast ;)

Painkiller

2010-05-06T08:57:00.004-04:00

The coolest bar in NYC will open this Friday: Painkiller

A tiki bar, mixed with the concept of 1970's New York culture.

Painkiller is the name of a cocktail, which they of course will be serving there.

I tried it the other day on their friends&family opening: delicious.

Well, honestly, there's very few drinks these guys can make that I wouldn't adore.

Here are some other reviews of Painkiller that I found.

Google by google doesn't work with google

2010-04-30T15:12:00.004-04:00

(This happened on my swedish account so I must write another post not in English. I appologize to everyone who doesn't understand swedish...)

Jag kunde inte logga in på mitt email konto. Gmail. By Google. (Viktigt att tillägga i sammanhanget.)

Så jag felsöker. Följande fråga kommer upp och jag kryssar i "inget av ovanstående":

Vilken webbläsare använder du?

Firefox
Internet Explorer
Safari
Inget av ovanstående

Andra webbläsare har tyvärr inte fullt stöd i Gmail, och Gmail-funktionerna kanske inte fungerar korrekt i dem.

Det spännande i sammanhanget är att jag har Google Chrome. By Google. Och den webbläsaren har inte fullt stöd i G-mail???

Vad är det jag missar? Om det är så att Google chrome används via någon av de ovanstående skulle det ju förklara saken men fortfarande väldigt dumt uttryckt. Kan någon förklara för en datanalfabet som jag?

Uppenbarligen kan jag ju nu logga in på mitt Blogger konto iaf...

Nu loggade jag in på engelska versionen och där finns plötsligt Google Chrome med!!

Fins inte Chrome i Sverige, är det därför?

Missing

2010-04-16T17:49:00.004-04:00

Sometimes it just sucks and eats me up alive that I'm so far away from my family and friends in Sweden.

To not be there to share the good times and to not be there through the hard. I'm also grieving that I'm missing the small details in the every day life that is so valuable.

For them of course but also for myself, I WANT TO.

But I guess I can't give up my own life in order to share theirs.

Starting this summer I'll definitely travel to Sweden more often!

Until then I can just wish they know how much I'm thinking about them, missing them and wishing we would see each other more often.

Especially my highly loved and adored mother and brother. The best.

2010-04-14T20:08:00.001-04:00

Both of my previous room mates are back in the city for a few weeks. Both very excited to be back :) Going for dinner tonight.
I can tell it's spring; so much is going on and NYC is really blooming.
Literally and metaphorically.
I'm already over spring though, want it to be summer again =D

2010-04-07T13:45:00.001-04:00

It's now 86 degrees. That's 30 celcius. Not spring, but summer. Wonderful fantastic summer. Soon going to go on a picnic.
It's kind of funny it's this week exactly that the weather is so brilliant; I have three friends that's currently visiting the city (and they did not come together). Plus that I don't have too many obligations this week either. So perfect.

2010-04-07T11:01:00.001-04:00

Goodmorning summer! Already 77 degrees outside so now I'm preparing brunch to eat at the balcony. Summer makes me so incredibly happy, all problems vanish to the background, it gets so easy to enjoy the present.

SJUKDOM

2010-04-02T07:09:00.002-04:00

Jag är så less på den här SJUKDOMEN som jag har. Ingen annan ser det som en sjukdom, nej det är bara jag som är tråkig, lat, bortskämd och opålitlig.

För många människor är allergier att man nyser ibland eller bara helt enkelt måste låta bli att äta en viss sorts nöt. Och astma är det väl bara att ta medicin då det blir jobbigt att andas.

I mitt liv har det haft långt mycket större effekt.

I perioder skärmar jag av mig från vänner, känner bara att jag sviker dem ändå varje gång jag uteblir för att jag mår för dåligt. Genom skolåren har jag utsatts för rena trakasserier från lärare och skolpersonal, än mindre fått den hjälp jag efterfrågat. Jag har bemötts av misstro, fientlighet och smutskastning, som fått mig att tvivla på mig själv. Jag har känt mig tvingad att göra mycket som jag egentligen inte orkar, vilket får mig att känna mig även mentalt utbränd. Jag känner att jag aldrig har tid med avslappnande vila när jag är frisk, för jag uppfyller, och överfyller, min kvot av ”vila” (dvs lidande) då jag är sjuk. Jag oroar mig ofta för framtiden, kommer min sjukdom hindra mig från att komma dit jag vill i livet?

Jag har varit infektionskänslig hela mitt liv, blivit sjuk ofta, och länge. Oftast bara ständiga förkylningar, ibland lunginflammationer, återkommande bihåleinflammationer och influensor. För att inte tala om de otäcka, och smärtsamma, livshotande allergiattackerna. Detta gör att jag missat mycket i mitt liv. Jag har inte hunnit allt som många friska 29-åringar har hunnit med.

Allt detta har inte endast medfört dåliga saker. Det har lärt mig att ta till vara på den tiden då jag orkar vara med, då jag orkar göra något. Göra det mesta och det bästa av tiden; jag har lärt mig vara effektiv och samtidigt njuta av nuet. Eftersom jag tvingats strida för mig och min rätt har jag fått en envis kämpaglöd som inte går av för hackor. Jag har lärt mig att allt inte alltid behöver göras på det förväntade sättet, det finns många omvägar för att nå ett mål.

Även om jag många gånger önskar att något bara kunde få vara enkelt för en gångs skull...

Jag har valt att se det som så att alla har sina strider i livet. Nästan allt annat i livet har jag haft tur med, så det här är väl mitt kors att bära. Om jag inte hade det skulle jag inte blivit lika erfaren, lika medveten om de orättvisor som faktiskt finns. Det är alltid skillnad att stå utanför och tycka när man orkar, mot för när ögon tvingas öppnas även då man inte orkar. Det har fått mig att inse och förstå hur andra orättvisor och kamper kan kännas. Kort sagt: det har gett mig empati.

Astma och allergi. BAH

2010-04-02T06:43:00.005-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AuZMRYcN_s

Men vilken djävla skitfilm!!

Om du är sjuk av astma och allergi så är det du SJÄLV som inte diskuterat med din doktor!

För du kan må helt bra. JAHA MEN VA BRAAAA DÅ!

Så om jag fick RÄTT behandling skulle jag känna ENERGI under pollensäsongen! Jaså? Kan nån ge mig numret till den läkaren NU!!!

Dessutom, astma måste behandlas av doktor, men allergimedecin finns att köpa receptfritt på apoteket...

Den här är alltså utlagd av astma och allergi förbundet!! Får mig att tro att ingen av dem har haft allergier.

För det första: Jag har en kronisk bihåleinflammation som bl.a. får min käke att knaka varje gång jag öppnar och stänger munnen och så har det vart sen Oktober 2008. Som han ungefärligt säger: allt är del av samma inflammation...men min käke är ju inte astma, då måste det ju falla under allergi (orsakat av allergi,"nästäppa"), så det finns tydligen receptfri medecin på apoteket mot detta? BRA: GE MIG!

(Vanlig nässpray hjälper INTE, tro mig, jag har försökt. Däremot hoppas jag att en bra doktor skulle kunna skriva ut någonting som får det att lätta lite. Letar fortfarande efter en sån doktor dock.)

För det andra...varför kan inte ens de som jobbar med astma och allergi fatta att allergier är inte bara är

"NÄSTÄPPA

RINNSNUVA

KLIANDE ÖGON
NYSNINGAR"

Det är ju en konstant påfrestning av immunförsvaret som gör mig sjuuuuuuk. <---HATA.

Löjligt kanske men blir så grymt sur för tänkte vända mig till deras sida för lite förstående... HA och det här var första jag såg de länka till på hemsidan... (Under senaste nytt)

Blir bara så urless att när det pratas om allergier så pratas det bara om de akuta symptomen och det saknas alltid en helhetsbild.

Hur ska folk bli informerade om vad allergier kan innebära när inte ens riksförbundet ämnat detta inte kan meddela det?

De påstår ju att detta är deras uppgift, i alla fall delvis. Eller att de "vill" det.

Men än en gång samma budskap:... det är MITT fel att jag är sjuk. Om jag ville må bättre kunde jag.

Jag vill. Så *POPP* nu ska det bara hända? För jag har gått till läkare och det var ju det enda jag behövde göra enligt filmen?

First blooming tree this year

2010-03-22T12:50:00.002-04:00

I'm posting a lot of phone pictures...because it's so simple. The quality is maybe not that great but yesterday I discovered that the quality of the actual iPhone is flawless, close to unbreakable.

I was running full speed, didn't notice that my phone jumped up from my pocket, it crashed on the pavement. Of course it got a small scratch on it but that was all and it works fine. It wasn't the first time I've dropped it either.
I'm impressed.

Spring

2010-03-19T16:09:00.001-04:00

Sitting in Madison square garden right now. 71 degrees. (That's 22
celcius)
In March! Lovely, right? The trees hasn't even started to bloom yet. The new yorkers and tourists filling up the
parks, eating ice cream and are happy =)

Good morning!

2010-03-18T07:41:00.003-04:00

As you can see todays forecast looks even more promising ha ha.

The moon is very misleading, I actually woke up by bright sun in my eyes, so it's up already alright.

Yesterday I spent the entire day in the sun, walking around, drinking coffee and catching up with friends while New Yorkers stumbled by half drunk in their green outfits. The mood was on top all over the city. People were cheery and happy. St.Patty's day and blazing sun seemed to have lifted everybody's mood.

The nice and friendly american comes out in everybody and the rude winter new yorker is gone for the season.

It's really true as they say that New York is like a different city during spring. Lovely lovely atmosphere!

Looks promising!

2010-03-17T09:43:00.003-04:00

So today I plan on being lazy in the sun... =)

If I don't fall asleep. Was at an event with open champagne bar last night and woke up early this morning...so I might surrender to a midday nap noon coming. I'm gonna try to get myself out the door and a cup of coffee before that happens. We'll see. I'm a bit hesitant because it's st. Patrick's day today... which means the city is gonna be packed with drunk people starting around brunch. In New York everyone always welcome every reason to get smashed. Irish or not. Well in that aspect I guess it's just like Sweden. Ha.

Happy St. Patrick's day!

Slow

2010-03-13T18:52:00.002-05:00

Video still not processed...

I'm eating pizza from the italian restaurant downstairs... mmm yummy...

Taking it easy today, resting up, have had a bad cold, starting to feel slightly better, I think, I hope.

I love living here in Astoria.

In the beginning of the week we went furniture shopping in the spring sun at Steinway. Nice helpful people and delicious brunch: best breakfast crepe ever; with spinach, vegetables and, yes, eggs! Sounded interesting, could've tasted weird but no, it was exactly what I needed that day =)

Today it's raining like crazy... been raining since yesterday and still coming down heavy. The wind is roaring outside the windows. Perfect day to be in and eat warm food! =)

Connection and processing mishaps - theme of the week?

2010-03-12T06:28:00.002-05:00

Hmm... I wrote a post before the other snow picture posts to kind of introduce them, but I added a video and it's still processing! So slow... I deleted and added it again, I was thinking it must be something wrong when it takes that long, but maybe I just made it take even longer?

Btw is anybody even reading my blog anymore?

I know I'm slow at posting every now and then but I would still be very happy if you cared to comment some... I think it would encourage me to write more often =)

*******************************

I have just had 48 hours of internet issues... I'm not kidding. I had set up my new wireless printer to my wifi... Printer worked fine but wifi stopped working after a while, even though it said I was connected, I just couldn't browse. Then the printer connection stopped working, but wifi started to work. Just to stop working so nothing at all worked recently. I tried troubleshooting the printer...or I was going to try to but it said it had to be connected via USB to be able to troubleshoot. Then I realized that in order to hook up the printer via USB to my computer I need a USB to USB cord... (right?) Or am I missing something?? Of all the USB cords I have they look different in both ends like "a normal USB cord". And of course the printer didn't come with one, so I couldn't even trouble shoot.

I just redid the entire connection set up instead. Now it all works! Smoothly! Knock on wood that it lasts.

I feel like a genius for solving the problem

my obviously not genius me somehow must've created. =P

Later on at night...

2010-03-11T07:13:00.006-05:00

...there was even more snow!

This is what I should've done =)

This could be somewhere in northern Sweden!

After a long day of walking around in the snow,

now it was my time to cuddle up inside =D

The February Blizzard.

2010-03-11T06:54:00.006-05:00

When everybody else declared themselves beaten by the snow and cuddled up inside, (with blankets and hot chocolate in front of a movie, I imagine) I went out in the winter landscape, as the true Swede I am ;P

Once in Manhattan the snow was more like rain.

I got worried it would all melt away at once.

Like most of the stores that day:

Tired day

2010-03-10T19:49:00.001-05:00

Had some trouble breathing today. Stupid allergies.

Hmpfhh...air is overrated anyways.

For my fellow Swedes

2010-03-08T19:26:00.002-05:00

Ni har antagligen redan sett det här

men jag såg det först nu så jag lästa detta

och kände mig tvungen att kommentera följande:

När väljaren är mig uppfattas den svartvita bilden med den orange-blåa loggan (Under Affisher. Person.) inte alls som dokumentär eller förmedlar allvar. Den tar inte tag i mig. Jag tror inte heller detta beror på att han trots allt har en slags kostymjacka på sig. Nej jag tycker det förmedlar feghet. Det speglar exakt dokumentets budskap. Ett parti som vill gömma "människan" bakom partiet. Individuella röster ska tystas.

Jag undrar ju dessutom var alla dessa ord som inte ska användas kommer ifrån? Uppenbarligen måste de ju finnas aktivt inom partiet för att ens tas upp, så det motbevisar ju sig själv. Moderaterna uppmanar enbart till att använda andra ord för samma begrepp. Det handlar inte om att försöka driva en åsikt, utan bara om att kalla "same shit a different name". Det är falskt och påklistrat.

2010-02-28T20:26:00.001-05:00

I've come to that age when I start to blame myself for daring to dream. Some kind of wisdom inside is telling me to not give up too early. That I will regret it whole heartedly when I mature even more and come to the realization that to at least try to reach for your dream is the only way to truly live.
Intelectual knowledge is however not the same as knowing and feeling from experience.

Was it in a cheesy tv-series, in a book or a movie where they sad the quote that made me see my reasoning in a new light? "I don't fight to win, I fight to survive".

No matter how hard it is, how impossible it seems, I'm not dreaming only of success, i have made a choice of who I am. In my attempt to grasp something deeper and more meaningful I've found my passion. Isn't that in itself a treasure to guard with my life?

It's sound to question yourself but to doubt yourself is destructive. I don't know where on the scale question your questioning is but I do know that I have to ask in order to get answers. Yet again I do not ask to get answers always, I ask questions to see different possibilities. There is no pure truth or pure untruth. There are question without answers, but all questions forces you to think.
Maybe even makes you find answers to questions you didn't think of asking.

Snow

2010-02-10T13:33:00.002-05:00

2010-02-10T13:09:00.001-05:00

No storm yet though. But will maybe come later. Schools are closed. The dance studio as well. I'm cuddling up inside listening to the wind that is getting stronger as I write this. A day for cookies and movies.

Snowstorm?

2010-02-09T22:37:00.004-05:00

So I've heard it started snowing in some parts of New York now.

It's said to be a snow storm. Schools are gonna close down.

Dance classes might be cancelled. I and who was gonna dance tomorrow =(

I wonder though....if it's maybe just gonna be 5 snow flakes and a little windy.

New York is not really prepared for snow storms. Takes it by surprise every year. Every winter I've lived here, except last year, there's been some heavy snowing and yet they've never learned to deal with it. Always chocking. Everything always closes down. Kind of funny. And cozy.

Perfect night to stay in with a glass of wine.

2010-01-29T17:16:00.001-05:00

Even superman has his kryptonite. The ones that reads the comics know. I'm superwoman and peanuts are my kryptonite. If you read my blog you know ;)

Night Words

2010-01-27T05:25:00.005-05:00

Sitting at the balcony with a cup of homemade ginger cinnamon tea. Even though I don't think you found your way to this page yet: Thank you Gus for that recipe, always been a pick-me-up throughout the years :)
I'm so nauseous. Been ever since a week ago when I had a severe allergy reaction. Yep, one of those life threatening ones only peanuts can give you. I was lying on the cold pavement puking with my throat shutting close more and more, could hardly breath, and quickly became unable to communicate. Humbling to say the least. Both my body and mind panicking.
...Well I survived.
I'm grateful to be alive. Just bothered that my body gotten so weakened because I can't wait to make the most of the life I still have. Sitting around exhausted and nauseous is interfering with my precious time! I'm too excited.
My birthday on the 5th. Going to celebrate it, embrace it. A week ago I would probably have felt more anxious about the fact I'm getting older. Now I'm just happy about it =)

Brought some candles out here that I lit up. Made me remember my very best friend, when we were very young, we meet up somewhere outdoors in our beautiful hometown, far away from anybody else’s ears, almost always one of us had brought candles that we lit in the cold northern nights. As long as we had them our secrets were more important than freezing toes.

Today I made lattes and cappuccinos for stressed people, then a book signing at a mystery book store and gained a few bottles of fine wine. Tonight I watched a bad movie, with friends, which had its fine message and now I'm sitting here.
Exhausted since it's only the second day since the allergy reaction I've even been standing up. But I've been tired for so many days now that tiredness isn't a signal for the body to sleep anymore.
But I have the rest of the week to rest up so I'm sure it will even out.

I'll take a picture with my phone for you:

Yes I know I should probably take down the red snowflakes from the balcony but just because Christmas is over doesn't mean winter is...even though it seems like it soon is here ;)

Coffee

2009-12-09T07:50:00.003-05:00

Learned about making coffee last night.

All drink knowledge tend to be very nerdy with silly details and insider only knowledge.

Maybe that's why it intrigues me. =)

Now I want to learn about bartending. Or actually just making drinks, to actually "tend a bar" is not the point for me. But I'm not going to be that nerdy that I call it mixology. ;)

Food knowledge seems to make more sense to me. As soon as it's liquid I have a little bit harder to grasp it, (yes, it's a bit of an ironic metaphor) but I'm guessing it's basically the same when it comes down to it.

Very interesting to learn!

Want to know moooore now!

Wind

2009-12-07T06:41:00.003-05:00

A windy morning in Queens

Popcorn

2009-12-07T06:09:00.004-05:00

2009-12-07T05:49:00.000-05:00

Swedish cookies

2009-12-03T23:51:00.004-05:00

Cooooookies from Ikea, nam nam nam, (havreflarn, pepparkakor). Slooowly decorating the tree...a few things every time I pass... Most of the other Christmas stuff already up...so pretty. Done lots of laundry today. Took a walk taking photos this morning. After a night of dancing. Will post in a near future. (Tonight? Tomorrow? Next week?) A little bit busy. Going to have a housewarming party this weekend so trying to do the finishing touches to the apartment...and the Christmas decorations.

Joined Google Wave today. Don't know how to use it yet or what to use it for...but I'm going to figure it out.

Want to see a picture of how I look right now? Here it is:

2009-12-02T14:42:00.000-05:00

Everyone is a little entitled to some late night anxiety right? Referring to the friend post... In Sweden we call it the wolf hour. Ouwouwoooouuuu!
Now everything feels much better again! And as you can see yesterday was a fun day. Everybody was extremly nice, suprisingly helpful...from busdrivers in Brooklyn to another security guard to Ikea customers...(except the employees just because they didn't know more than us.)

Really...?

2009-12-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

Security gard: Ooh I've never met sweedes before!
Me: Really...?
Sec guard: Never.
Me: ...But you work at Ikea!?

Friends...

2009-12-02T03:56:00.004-05:00

I hate coming out from a period of being sick. The world around you has forgotten about you.

I haven't had energy to get in touch with my friends, or even call them back. Never any good news or interesting things to tell makes it harder. You could argue that it's not real friends if they aren't staying through that....but at the same time I haven't been a good friend at all. Being sick is depressive. No energy for anything fun. Just comes with guilt, stress and anxiety. Thank God I'm not severely sick at least. Just "blame god" that I caught so many colds after each other this last year...Exhausting. And it's nothing you can be proud of so when I'm sick, I'm hiding.

Well I've been feeling well for a while now...trying to catch up with friends. Seeing who's still out there. It's rough. Some are sweet and understanding. Other's hurt but trying to be forgiving. Some have had so much going on themselves they're oblivious. Others have left.

Family's bound to stick around though. And here's a big Thank God, not only are they bound to, mine actually do =) Without my family I'd be nothing. They're the best friends I could ever wish for.

And having good friends...is the best things in life.

Living across the ocean far away from some of them doesn't make things easier at all. They probably think I've forgot about them. When in reality I miss them most of all.

Sunday

2009-11-29T22:42:00.001-05:00

It's getting dark so early...I feel like I'm losing my days...even if it's not less time, the mentality changes. I feel like a night owl at 6pm already.

First of Advent today. A tradition in Sweden to cuddle up and eat Ginger snaps, sweet saffron buns and drink glögg (Christmas spiced hot wine drink) or julmust (carbonated soda...think Christmas spiced pepsi or coke...not really but can't describe it better), every Sunday until Christmas. Light one candle for every Sunday and when the fourth is lit you know it's Christmas =)

However I'm not gonna be able to do that today, haven't been to Ikea yet =P Me and a Swedish friend is going on Dec 1st!
Instead I'm gonna go to a friends house today for a little (unrelated) get together =) Everybody is bringing a little something, to eat or drink. Since our house is still somehat unorganized food wise since the move I had to improvise. I made a quinoa salad with tomatoes, avocado and garlic. Spiced with sea salt, basil, black pepper, a little bit of olive oil and squeezed a few drops of lime over. Turned out pretty tasty (if I may say so myself) but I should've done more I realized too late. But if everybody brings a little it should be fine!

Sitting on the train now on my way. I hope I can post this before we're going under ground, if not I guess I have to post this tonight, maybe a day off =P

Productive day

2009-11-24T20:00:00.005-05:00

Very productive day, got a lot of things done today. Some in Manhattan. Came home less than an hour ago. Sat down and wrote a text on my Swedish blog, Flyktsoda. And now time to cook some food. Still got things to unpack. If there's some energy left after eating I'll deal with it.

What a (time consuming) project

2009-11-20T23:10:00.002-05:00

Packing

Moving

Time to unpack... a work in progress...

Farewell Manhattan, Good day Astoria!

2009-11-12T05:32:00.001-05:00

Moving today!

Stressful but exciting =D

A slow come back...?

2009-11-10T12:08:00.003-05:00

I don't want to stop writing. But when I've had a never ending sinus infection and no energy what so ever...well then I have nothing to write about: Haven't done much interesting, haven't had energy to read something to be upset or excited enough to write about, haven't taken any interesting photos or done much creative at all...

It's depressing to be sick. Surprise surprise.

It's like when friends call. Or send an email. It's ok to say I have a cold right now, but one month later it's not ok to say it any more. Then they'll start wondering what's wrong with me, have you been to the doctor, you have the swine flu, you should eat this, you should sleep better, aaaarghhh

deep breath: I'm grateful to have concerned friends. But I don't let them be, any more, because I just get tired of saying I'm sick, so I don't respond... I know, I know... but the only thing I should've done is to be born with a better immune defense, without allergies. I'm finally done blaming myself for getting sick every now and then. It only took me about 20 years so I don't expect anyone else to understand... That's why I become a bad friend and ignore calls and texts and letters.

I hate getting sick so much I rather deny it. So next subject.

Something very positive for me =)

I'm moving from Manhattan to Astoria, Queens!

A much bigger apartment. It's a loft style apartment with one bedroom. The bedroom is slightly bigger than the current one, the livingroom is bigger than the entire current apartment, bigger bathroom and lots and lots of closet space. With balcony... gonna be so nice!

Even though I love Manhattan it feels good to get away from the hectic life here, to feel like you're coming "home", recharging, relaxing more.

(It's like with a job you love: you can still be overworked!)

Especially since I'm probably gonna go in every day anyways.

I loved living in Brooklyn. I loved coming into Manhattan every day, but I loved coming home to Brooklyn every day too. I have missed those days lately. Felt like I had so much more time every day back then. I miss being complacently bored. Like always in Sweden. You know those days when you're done with all that you need to do and you're just home anyways so why not bake a cake/ take up knitting / finish a few books / paint / write ...etc.

Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe life was just simpler when I was a few years younger? But it hasn't changed that much so it doesn't really makes sense.

Since I'm feeling better now, still not good but hey it's much better and in the right direction, I've decided the move is the point where things are gonna turn around for me, in all areas. Sounds reasonable right?

2009-10-25T12:16:00.000-04:00

2009-10-25T12:15:00.000-04:00

Rainy thoughts

2009-09-27T08:30:00.003-04:00

It's raining today.

Not a great weather for taking a long walk in. At least not when you have a cold.

I want to go out and have breakfast with a friend but calling someone at 8am on a Sunday morning maybe isn't all that nice...

I guess instead I'll have to do some boring stuff, which is so much harder to motivate myself for when I'm feeling sick. Like filling out some forms for Sweden or doing laundry. Blach, boring.

At least I woke up to a nice slightly remade livingroom with the new rocking chair and new tables.

Once again, sweet materialism.

When they say. "money can't buy happiness", it's a lie. Because it sure can, indirectly. It buys health as well. The only thing true about that statement is that it's not guaranteed. The saying should be "money doesn't guarantee happiness, it just helps a long way."

Why oh why did I choose a career as a dancer? My millions are waiting for me to come and get them. I want to be filthy rich. Well, to be serious for a while my reasoning has been like this: If I had all the money in the world, what would I choose to do? I would do what I'm doing now. So why work at another job, earning money to spend on what I'm already doing that I couldn't do if I had another job? In that sense it's not money that's bringing me the happiness. Other things than money bring happiness too. =)

It's just that if I had another career instead I would probably travel more, eat out more, go shopping more, live in a bigger apartment...but even if I want that too, what's that in itself compared to the feeling I feel when I dance? Nothing, for real.

To choose to dance is also a choice to stay active, to work out, it's an investment in health. Priceless...

New Yorkers patriotism rocking

2009-09-26T17:48:00.007-04:00

Is it something in the air today?

Well, I did smell fall outside, for the first time this year.

But what I was referring to was the aggression that I saw, or rather heard, around the city today. When I entered the subway a lady in her 80's or maybe 70's was yelling loudly at what seemed to be her husband while they were rushing by (in old people speed), then around Union square I almost walked right into a couple that stood in the street fighting. Of course there was also the usual snappy remarks that New Yorkers are well known for and later on when I was on my way back home a guy passed me while cursing someone out over the phone.

Maybe not abnormally much in a city where you encounter so many people every day but to me it still seemed out of the ordinary.

Union square yesterday:

I just stumbled across this article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33013187/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/

At first I was wondering how the studying could forth go without involving social services and take care of the kids, until I remembered...it's legal in this country! You're not allowed to hit anybody unless it's a kid, that you're responsible for. Shivers down my back. I sometimes ask myself why I live in this country that fails its own people. Low minimum wage, racist tendencies, around 50 million without decent healthcare, but that's not important as long as we defend the right to bear arms and beat our kids.

Ok ok, there's a lot of positive things in this country as well. But as a teacher of mine once taught us; real patriotism is not just nodding and agreeing with everything, patriotism is to question, so you can improve, to make sure your country stays, or becomes, the best place in the world, then there's something you can really be proud over.

From one subject to another... Except aggressive New Yorkers (or tourists, who knows) and a little bit upset over certain things in this country I'm in a tremendous mood this sunny but cold Saturday =)

I've been up and about for three days now. Even though lungs still hurt and I'm still coughing it's a start...baby steps. My goal is to take a class on Monday. Or depending on how you see it: my goal is to NOT take a class until Monday. I want to, but really don't think I should until then. Taking walks and having lunch with friends has been a nice start. Just that has actually made me exhausted ...wow, I feel so out of shape, it's terrible. I've also, with the help of friends, finally got some important paper work done, which feels awesome. Both to have good friends, thanks girls!, and getting boring paperwork over with.

On that note I'm now going to relax in the couch for a while, or maybe in my new rocking chair!

Slowly...

2009-09-25T10:33:00.002-04:00

Aaaah sweet materialism!

While NYC is having a hard time letting go of summer, my cold is having a hard time letting go of me. But I bribed myself with shopping and took a long walk in the sun from Union square down through Soho, all the way down to Leonard Street.

Not only did I manage to get out and be up and about yesterday, but the shopping actually made me wake up with a smile on my face this morning, going through what I bought yesterday...because when I got home last night I was too tired to appreciate it really, though I forced myself to stay up long enough for my sleeping hours to get back on track. (I did wake up around 5 am yesterday.)

I'm still coughing and my lungs hurt, but being in the sun and doing something fun gave me a little bit of energy, so I'm gonna try the same thing today =)

Lunch with friends and simple walks is step one to get back on track after this terrible chain of colds that's been haunting me. I'm trying to ease back in to "real life" so I don't end up getting so exhausted that I get sick AGAIN...but it's hard, I'm already thinking of going and take a class....I want to so bad!!

In my home

2009-09-19T07:38:00.006-04:00

When someone suddenly suggested to me that we should, just for fun, each write a mystery, a short story, I was surprised but excited! Of course I took on the challenge. I've never written mysteries before, even though I've read many. Not only did it have to be in English, it's also a style far from what I'm usually writing. So I did it in my own way, he he. Let me know what you think!

In my home

As soon as she had unlocked the door and walked in to the apartment she sensed that something was…not wrong at first, but off, somehow; different. Almost with goose bumps she felt a tingling sense of her home holding a secret. The well known had been touched by strangeness.

She turned on the hall light, looked around and tried to figure out what gave her this feeling. Nothing instantly looked out of order. She dropped the keys in her pocket, put her bag down, took off her jacket and regretted it while hanging it on the hook, because the lingering feeling of uneasiness gave her the chills.

The thought of someone but her being inside her apartment occurred to her like a punch in the stomach. She quickly turned around, not seeing anyone she bent down and almost hysterically went through her bag until she found her cell phone. She dialed the 9, the first 1 and with strong hesitation finally the second 1, maybe she was just imagining? Now all she had to do was to press the call button, that her thumb was hovering over, as soon as she would actually see someone. In her other hand she grabbed the closest thing she could think of to use as a weapon; an umbrella which pointy top surely could do some damage. She stopped for a second to hope it wouldn’t be used against her, she had read somewhere that weapons meant for self defense often ended up being used against your self. She tried to shake the thought of being punched and stabbed with an umbrella and took a firmer grip, and even more so she tried to avoid the icky thought of actually having to stab someone.

Slowly she started to walk forward trough the hallway, turning left into the kitchen. Her heart throbbed high up in her throat when she saw things had been moved. Her crystal vase, which always stood, mostly unused, in the corner of the counter, was gone. She looked in through the cabinet with glass doors and saw that her grandpa’s antique glasses also were gone,those that he had given her with the condition that she would actually use them. -No point of them just collecting dust, her grandpa had said. For the record she had kept that promise, it had become a routine to buy a bottle of wine every time friends were going to come over to serve in those glasses. She started wondering, who was it that had been here, that took the time to steal glasses? A high society thief? She should check if her TV and her jewelries were gone too, but first she had to know if the thief was still in the apartment. While thinking that, she had definitely heard something! It had come from further in to the apartment. Holding her breath and slightly trembling she moved towards the living room.

Then everything happened very quickly.
-911, where is the emergency, said a voice she didn’t hear as the umbrella dropped to the floor.
She felt the knees bend and the hearth almost stop as her friends yelled: -Surprise!

Chocolate, coughs and culture.

2009-09-17T07:03:00.004-04:00

What a weird morning.

Eating luxury chocolate, played some video games, then started cleaning out the fridge, all while my lungs are burning. Coughing now too. Freezing for a while, sweating for a while: obviously fever.

Should be impossible to get another cold again, but obviously not. And there's nothing I can do. Just another virus, just bad luck. =( Miss dancing sooooooo much.

The days (and nights) are getting so messed up after a period of just being sick. No energy and sleeping for a few hours, awake for a few, bored but no energy to actually do something. Blach, this is so frustrating.

Well... it could be worse I guess.

Listened to some Beatles and started thinking about how almost ironic it is that they were THE first big rock band, that started a phenomena, and they are still the best. Nothing can yet barely reach their level, and even if so surely not pass it... kind of amazing.

Maybe that's just my opinion?

Maybe that is why they were so good? Not in any genre yet, they dared to do something new and just go for it. Without expectations and not following any rules. Kind of what I'm aiming to do with my dancing. Dare to try my own approach. Try to forget about expectations. Explore with trial and error, find out what my audience wants and what I want to express. Find out how important it is to please and how important it is that I get to say what I want to say.

The balance between narcissism and sell-out... the balance between being the object or the subject, balance between having the attention and communicating.

Is art equal? How can I actually explore this? How can I change it into taking a form I want it to be?

Now I need to get healthy so I can start (continue) my path into creating art, maybe even be art. So I can write about the process, not just my expecting thoughts.

2009-09-15T18:34:00.001-04:00

Oh no... I'm feeling sick again. My lungs are burning. I don't have any more energy to be sick! ='(

Blaachh

2009-09-13T19:15:00.002-04:00

I'm good now but it's been a lousy few weeks. Cold after cold after flu after cold after allergy attack and throw some bad period pain in there. Yeah it has sucked pretty bad. Boring and depressing and soooo frustrating.

But everything comes to an end and thankfully so even this. I'm feeling better now, just tired, stressed out and pretty wiped out but as long as I'm healthy that's fixable =)

And I got some good news: A friend that I miss so much is coming to New York! =D

September, in a few minutes

2009-08-31T23:24:00.000-04:00

Summer is gone

2009-08-24T09:54:00.002-04:00

Om allt går åt helvete

...följ inte efter!

(If everything goes to hell
...don't follow!)

Summer...

2009-08-24T06:40:00.000-04:00

2009-08-24T06:38:00.000-04:00

2009-08-24T06:37:00.002-04:00

2009-08-24T06:37:00.001-04:00

2009-08-24T06:37:00.000-04:00

2009-08-24T06:34:00.001-04:00

2009-08-24T06:34:00.000-04:00

MY cute computer - welcome back!

2009-08-22T10:50:00.005-04:00

Ok now I've transfered photos from the harddisk to external harddrive, cleaned up in my music, backed it up, deleted evrything from iTunes, made my own advanced colorscheme for windows (based on the olive green standard options), edited language options, downloaded Chrome web browser....about that: I heard that it spies on you and keep track of everything you do...so maybe I shouldn't have...but I just couldn't resist the PINK web browser design!! Oh spy on me, see me naked if you want, after all it's PINK and incredible adorable!

I've also sorted my bookmarks, deleted old ones, alphabetized the rest, started importing my current music to iTunes, downloaded a new version of the antivirus program, cleaned up the hard drive, virus scanned it, updated different programmes and finally now I feel like I don't only have my old lap top back but it feels new and organized, ahhh nice feeling.

I'm truly a computer nerd. Electronics are so fun =)

So even if I'm tired and exhausted from cold (flu?) and allergy reaction (it was bad) I'm still resting AND being productive at the same time.

So except being bummed about missing dance classes I'm in a really good mood =)

About my blogging again

2009-08-22T07:52:00.003-04:00

I have got my lap top back! Finally!! Now I have no excuse to not write, and that feels really good actually!

I want to write more about politics but... Right now the debate here in the US seems to be mostly about the health care system. It's an extremely important question but it's not really a serious debate about it. For those already involved in politics I'm sure there's forum for debates but through mass media is just silly and petty remarks without any relevancy what so ever. I don't want to be a part of that. There are no actual arguments I could contradict, or agree with.

Most politics are handled that way here in the US.

It becomes a circus where insults and shit-talk can take over and be main focus.

The presidential election was very much the same.

Head lines become more important than what the actual articles say. TV news talks down to people.

I should maybe be the one to actively search for forums but it's exhausting and tiring to fight your way through all the bullshit to get to the core so I often give up halfway. I become one of those ignorant people that the TV news has to talk down to in order for me to understand. It annoys me but makes me turn my focus other directions.

I want to use my art to influence politically. My way of expressing my opinions and spread already existing ones. To express values and ask questions.

And my art is very personal. So I'm going to let this blog be very personal without the need of being art, that way I can let my art be very artsy without the need of being too personal ha ha or something like that... ;)

But speaking of art, I'm definatly going to start posting about one post a day at Flyktsoda! If I can't come up with new stuff there's always old stuff I could post so shouldn't be a problem! :)

New Post

2009-08-21T22:57:00.002-04:00

New posts at Flyktsoda

Matching

2009-08-21T09:46:00.004-04:00

I have a weird habit. To accidently match. Mostly outfits. But
here's an example I just had to take a picture of when I realized:

I analyze myself and am thinking: maybe my personality give in to the spur of the moment, my temporary but intense feeling, very straight on. Without much thought.

Or the opposite. My mind likes to organize. Even when I'm unaware, my brain tries to simplify through sorting colors and patterns. When I'm thinking that I'm just grabbing the nearest thing my brain has already made a concious choice.

Yes I'm overtired and overanalyzing. But it's interesting sometimes, even the silly details. I like details. Obviously, hence this subject.

Health Care

2009-08-21T09:41:00.005-04:00

It's such an awkard debate here in the US about health care. People are throwing insults around, like "socialism"....ooooooh scary.

First of all most republicans seem to think socialism and communism is the same thing. Actually most Americans seem to think that.
Dictionary.com explains socialism as "a theory or system of social
organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership and control
of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc.,
in the community as a whole."
And communism as "a system of social organization in which all
economic and social activity is controlled by a totalitarian state
dominated by a single and self-perpetuating political party."

I saw the daily show with Jon Stewart (comedy news show) where they brought up the made up "death panels". They made the point that of course the government shouldn't get to decide if someone would be allowed to live or die. Such a great decision should be where it is now: in the hands of corporate insurance companies.....

I think that says it all!

2009-08-14T09:21:00.001-04:00

Was really gonna go for it. Train dance get things done. Yeah yeah...no.
Have had fever. Head-, throath- and stomach ache. Slept for a week soon.
Bored, disappointed and almost angry but it would be too exhausting so I'm just bitter.
Blach. =(

Den omöjliga vägen

2009-08-12T00:06:00.001-04:00

New Post at Flyktsoda:
Den omöjliga vägen

Spring seems so long ago

2009-08-10T18:57:00.003-04:00

New posts

2009-08-03T11:03:00.000-04:00

New post at
http://sofiasflyktsoda.blogspot.com

Also, I just posted some pictures (taken with my phone so not so good quality)
here below
but since I emailed them in earlier they ended up being posted before my latest post.

Beach

2009-08-01T15:07:00.003-04:00

Almost unwillingly I pick up the phone to write. I'm at the beach and electronics maybe should be banned ;) but at the same time it's awfully nice to lie on a beach after a swim, eat berries and write. Well the swimming isn't as much swimming as it is getting drenched: put one foot in the water and next second you're being pulled by a wave.

It's still very nice but the lifeguards keep on bringing everyone out of the water every now and then because they think the waves get too high.

I appreciate that they're concerned for our safety but the waves here doesn't seem to differ much from what i've experienced at other beaches.

Maybe the lifeguards are better here? Maybe they have less resources here? Or maybe the rip tides are bad here?

I'm at Long Beach.

Decided to try it out, take the train here. I have been here once before, last year, it wasn't as crowded here then. Next time I think I'll go to a beach where I can swim but now I'm going to enjoy this one, which I still truly do =)

2009-07-30T20:29:00.001-04:00

2009-07-30T20:28:00.003-04:00

2009-07-30T20:28:00.002-04:00

On my way home

2009-07-30T20:27:00.001-04:00

A few phone pictures from, for some dancers, a well known
neighbourhood :)

Vitamins

2009-07-28T17:06:00.002-04:00

Multivitamins for kids... And why not for adults?
I found these at wholefoods and there's no gelatin in them or
artificial colorings, like in every other brand I've seen!
And...I just love the style of the label :)

Längtan

2009-07-28T16:32:00.003-04:00

New Post at Flyktsoda

2009-07-28T14:36:00.001-04:00

Rest in peace

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/27/merce-cunningham-dies/?src=twt&twt=nytimes

God Bless America

2009-07-23T19:04:00.005-04:00

Americans might not afford healthcare but at least they have cheap do-it-yourself-kits at the drug store.

Clouds in the sky clouds in my brain...

2009-07-23T10:32:00.003-04:00

It's a cloudy day, my body is tired from yesterdays classes which I rounded off with a nice walk across Manhattan. Woke up at 7 this morning. Nice feeling to wake up early and know I don't have morning class to rush off to today. (Class I can't take because of foot has a sub, harder to feel bad for missing it then. Going to take pilates tonight instead.)

View on my walk last night: (phone picture)

My brain is very still. Relaxing.
In that mindset where everything is thought with a resistance in a nice relaxing underwater manner.
No room for unnecessary thoughts, no especially clever activity either. Just calmness.

I'm sure it has to do with the outlet that dancing yesterday gave me. My brain has nothing it desperatly needs to express. So now I'm just going to enjoy this until I have to get ready and get going to dance some more.

2009-07-22T12:47:00.002-04:00

Hmmm this texting is a little unreliable, last post didn't go through until I re-sent it now after class. And I who wanted to brag about my early hour ;)

Eating lunch in the park again. :)

My lunch spot:

Swedish speaking people: new post at http://sofiasflyktsoda.blogspot.com, Asfaltssommar.
Pavement summer...

2009-07-22T12:10:00.001-04:00

So the weather forecast was wrong. Shining sun today! Such a weird day yesterday. Woke up early well rested but got soon tired again. Can't take the class I wanted to take because of my foot so was going to take another class instead but that teacher didn't teach yesterday. Tired and unmotivated I struggled to stay awake but fell asleep already soon after 8! Here's the weirdest part; I managed to stay asleep until 7 this morning!! Wow! Well I guess I needed that sleep! Was it the weather? Tired from all the swimming during the weekend? The class on Monday? Anyways, hope my energy will catch up today because now I'm off to dance class. Ciao.

2009-07-21T10:46:00.001-04:00

Good news and bad news.
Bad news: it's raining.
Good news: it's raining.

More time to just focus on dancing. Don't have to worry about missing out on summer since there really isn't much of a summer to miss out on. Looks like it's going to be raining all week. On the other hand it would have been nice to be able to make the most of my time off. Like lunch in the park and Sundays on the beach. It's energizing. Well well. If someone could promise me a vacation to a warm country in November I wouldn't worry so much... ;)

2009-07-21T10:40:00.001-04:00

So unappealing to be back in the stressful city. Rather would have stayed close to beaches and pools using goggles and relaxing. Suprise huh? ;)
Well it's gonna be fun to dance of course.

Om språk

2009-07-20T07:01:00.002-04:00

New post at http://sofiasflyktsoda.blogspot.com
A thought, today in the car, after my happy battle with the waves.

2009-07-19T20:06:00.001-04:00

Workout? No. Fight? No. Waves? Yesssss... I'm exhausted. Happy exhausted. Clearest cleanest saltest water I've been in, in years....lovely!!!!!

2009-07-19T09:45:00.001-04:00

Btw ha ha that was obviously too much text for it to handle via text message. Got divided into 13 different blog posts... whoops!
Good thing I caught it. Edited it so now, enjoy: