Wrote this long ago but never posted. I think it's time to do so.
I knew before I heard the news it would be the worst day in my life.
Trying to grasp the ungraspable.
What was never allowed to happen finally hit like an evil scornful punch by the devil hard in my stomach, right before he tore my heart out.
It doesn't make sense, it's not logical and not possible.
I know at some point I'll have to accept it. I'll have to forgive.
But the walls of my reality have crumbled down and I'm standing alone in the ruins. Any voice and any hand would help right now. I can gratefully feel them but I'm not strong enough to reach them.
For you, only for you, I have to try to pull myself up, do what I have to do and beyond.
I will try.
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