Phew... Dancing like mad.
My throat starting to feel a bit sore though...I don't want to get sick!!! Don't have time. Bombing myself with vitamin C, heard it should help.
It's so lovely to dance! To move to sweat to work hard to make your body do these beautiful empowering movements, to have fun to be determined, to be focused... to verbalize the music as my teacher said, to express!
I'm rediscovering some insights, like how important it is to be confident. First of all it makes it look better, helps you to go into the next movement naturally. Second of all, who wants to see apologizing dance? Insecure small movements just looks awful... To take it fully out no matter how wrong you are makes it look better, feel better and the only way to finally push through to the next level.
It's hard to get back into dancing after an injury. My body has forgotten things that my brain knows too well, it makes me mad and frustrated at myself, which doesn't help me in any way. But it also gives me an opportunity to break old bad habits, to start over and begin to work even more technical. And to give myself some credit: it's only been going forward, I am getting better and better even if I'm far from satisfied and don't like what I see.
Think I've came to that point where I really have to remind myself that it's not only about being determined but also to have fun with it, be creative and put my own expression into the technical work I'm doing.
Aaaah it's so nice, the more I dance, the more energy I get, the more I want to dance! =) *HAPPY*
The hard part is only in the mornings when my body is tired from the 4 classes the day before...blach. But once there in class it feels so right, so fun and yeah still hard, but hard work and that feels good =)
Ok now I'm off to the last class for today!! (Where I'm probably gonna regret being so cheerful about it ha ha ha gonna be so tired)
31 July, 2008
29 July, 2008
Puddle
Yes! Sarah worded it perfectly! And thanks Ashlee for the great feedback =)
Here's a puddle:
City park...
25 July, 2008
Baseball for meee, and everyone!!
I got this linked to me, with the subject, "Baseball for Sofia" since I'm allergic to peanuts. But many of those comments kind of missed the point...
"This is a joke right? My son's 10 and allergic to peanuts, he knows not to eat them and always will ask a question. Peanut free zone, just plain stupid." -readi29
"If people are stupid enough to eat something they know they're allergic to then let them suffer the consequences. Why should the rest of us be deprived." -rezn8v
"Why not ban all food. People are allergic to other things besides peanuts. WTG Safeco, retards." -savage_30
There's a difference between other food allergies and peanut allergies, you see. As far as I know peanut allergy is the most severe allergy there is, at least among the top worst. It's deadly. But not only when eaten. Peanuts are very dry. This make the allergens air borne. Allergy to this is referred to as (you who often fly in the US might have come across this) "peanut dust allergy".
It's not as complicated as it first seems. It's works just like allergy against pollen! Or allergy against cigarette smoke.
If you breath in peanut dust it gets in your mouth or nose which cause an allergic reaction. I never would (or could) eat a peanut, but sitting around people eating peanuts could make me seriously ill.
I think it's great that public events create awareness of this! To not eat peanuts during those few hours cold not cause as much damage to anyone as the damage that it could make to eat peanuts next to an allergic person.
So to object against this seems very egoistic to me!
If it was the other way around I would without a problem not eat popcorn or whatever it could be, being well aware that I could easily go home and eat it if I wanted it.
But I suspect that those people that are objecting against this is the same kind of people that would smoke around others, even kids. Second hand smoking is harmful to everyone!! But of course especially those allergic to it.
Then I saw this post:
"Seriously, there are so many people with so many different deadly allergic reactions. I understand it's serious, but we cannot cater to every person's problem. Eventually people just need to learn how to adapt themselves to their problems and not expect everyone else to go without or change their ways for them. "
-Michelle P
Yes...Uhm...where should I start? First of all: People with wheelchairs? They just have to adapt to stairs? Of course we should live in a society where we make the utmost effort to try to adapt to each other. To make public events open to, exactly, the public, and not just a selected few lucky ones. Disabilities should be taken seriously. Especially when it's such a severe disability that could cause death!
And second of all: there are not that many different deadly allergic reactions, (unless you accidentally eat it yourself) maybe Michelle can tell me what she refers to?
"This is a joke right? My son's 10 and allergic to peanuts, he knows not to eat them and always will ask a question. Peanut free zone, just plain stupid." -readi29
"If people are stupid enough to eat something they know they're allergic to then let them suffer the consequences. Why should the rest of us be deprived." -rezn8v
"Why not ban all food. People are allergic to other things besides peanuts. WTG Safeco, retards." -savage_30
There's a difference between other food allergies and peanut allergies, you see. As far as I know peanut allergy is the most severe allergy there is, at least among the top worst. It's deadly. But not only when eaten. Peanuts are very dry. This make the allergens air borne. Allergy to this is referred to as (you who often fly in the US might have come across this) "peanut dust allergy".
It's not as complicated as it first seems. It's works just like allergy against pollen! Or allergy against cigarette smoke.
If you breath in peanut dust it gets in your mouth or nose which cause an allergic reaction. I never would (or could) eat a peanut, but sitting around people eating peanuts could make me seriously ill.
I think it's great that public events create awareness of this! To not eat peanuts during those few hours cold not cause as much damage to anyone as the damage that it could make to eat peanuts next to an allergic person.
So to object against this seems very egoistic to me!
If it was the other way around I would without a problem not eat popcorn or whatever it could be, being well aware that I could easily go home and eat it if I wanted it.
But I suspect that those people that are objecting against this is the same kind of people that would smoke around others, even kids. Second hand smoking is harmful to everyone!! But of course especially those allergic to it.
Then I saw this post:
"Seriously, there are so many people with so many different deadly allergic reactions. I understand it's serious, but we cannot cater to every person's problem. Eventually people just need to learn how to adapt themselves to their problems and not expect everyone else to go without or change their ways for them. "
-Michelle P
Yes...Uhm...where should I start? First of all: People with wheelchairs? They just have to adapt to stairs? Of course we should live in a society where we make the utmost effort to try to adapt to each other. To make public events open to, exactly, the public, and not just a selected few lucky ones. Disabilities should be taken seriously. Especially when it's such a severe disability that could cause death!
And second of all: there are not that many different deadly allergic reactions, (unless you accidentally eat it yourself) maybe Michelle can tell me what she refers to?
21 July, 2008
Aaaaargh!
Gaaaaaaaaah! It hurts! ....And OMG I'm bleeding!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
I'm nauseous and it hurts and i'm bleeding.
But as a girl or woman I just have to pretend like nothing is happening. Go to school or work anyways. Even jump around and play and be sporty anyways if that's what was at the schedule for today.
If this happened to guys....I'm sure they would at least get paid time off from work for this.
There are women who have their period without any "side effects". But there are also women who's in pain. Who's so nauseous they can barely move. Women who have bad headaches, stomach aches, vagina aches.
And this they have to endure almost every month, year after year. Sure there are pills that help some. Others get depressed from them instead. Or angry or emotional. If that wasn't already the case without the pills.
But still there is an expectation to function as a "normal human being" in the mean time.
I will never know, but I'm just so convinced this is something that would have been treated differently if it was men who had to live with it.
For one thing it would have been more out in the open and more ok to talk about tampons and pads and the pain and even the blood.
I also believe that they probably would have gotten paid time off from work for this. And definitely the medical research around it would have been more founded and gotten so much further.
I'm nauseous and it hurts and i'm bleeding.
But as a girl or woman I just have to pretend like nothing is happening. Go to school or work anyways. Even jump around and play and be sporty anyways if that's what was at the schedule for today.
If this happened to guys....I'm sure they would at least get paid time off from work for this.
There are women who have their period without any "side effects". But there are also women who's in pain. Who's so nauseous they can barely move. Women who have bad headaches, stomach aches, vagina aches.
And this they have to endure almost every month, year after year. Sure there are pills that help some. Others get depressed from them instead. Or angry or emotional. If that wasn't already the case without the pills.
But still there is an expectation to function as a "normal human being" in the mean time.
I will never know, but I'm just so convinced this is something that would have been treated differently if it was men who had to live with it.
For one thing it would have been more out in the open and more ok to talk about tampons and pads and the pain and even the blood.
I also believe that they probably would have gotten paid time off from work for this. And definitely the medical research around it would have been more founded and gotten so much further.
07 July, 2008
Maybe too little maybe too much
I think I'm afraid of writing. I've stopped writing. Used to do it so often so much. And now: almost nothing. It makes me sad. I miss it. But I just can't bring my self to it. And this thing with thinking in two languages (combined) sure doesn't help...
What's missing is motivation. Not to write...but to dare to write.
I have so many feelings, experienced or imagined, that I have a need to express. Some through dancing. Some through pictures of different kinds; painting, photos. But mostly, through words. But I don't know how to do it anymore. I think it's a fear. Of that what I have to say might not be important enough. Not interesting enough. Not fascinating, not particularly unique or maybe even not very true.
But I'm not aiming to write a fact-book. Just feelings. All over the place. Like a messy abstract painting. What's the story? I don't know... All I know is the characters and their lives and I want to share them with someone. These moments that together creates the pictures, just like life. Maybe what I'm looking for is somebody that wants to read what I've written. I want to write for the sake of writing, I wanna dance even if nobody is watching. But without an audience it doesn't really feel like art. Just some kind of, ha I don't know, maybe therapy?
Maybe it's the story that I'm looking for. The why and when. Not necessarily answered, but at least asked.
Maybe I'm not looking for anything at all. Maybe I've just waited too long, doubted myself too much.
Is it too late?
What's missing is motivation. Not to write...but to dare to write.
I have so many feelings, experienced or imagined, that I have a need to express. Some through dancing. Some through pictures of different kinds; painting, photos. But mostly, through words. But I don't know how to do it anymore. I think it's a fear. Of that what I have to say might not be important enough. Not interesting enough. Not fascinating, not particularly unique or maybe even not very true.
But I'm not aiming to write a fact-book. Just feelings. All over the place. Like a messy abstract painting. What's the story? I don't know... All I know is the characters and their lives and I want to share them with someone. These moments that together creates the pictures, just like life. Maybe what I'm looking for is somebody that wants to read what I've written. I want to write for the sake of writing, I wanna dance even if nobody is watching. But without an audience it doesn't really feel like art. Just some kind of, ha I don't know, maybe therapy?
Maybe it's the story that I'm looking for. The why and when. Not necessarily answered, but at least asked.
Maybe I'm not looking for anything at all. Maybe I've just waited too long, doubted myself too much.
Is it too late?
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