Maybe too little maybe too much

I think I'm afraid of writing. I've stopped writing. Used to do it so often so much. And now: almost nothing. It makes me sad. I miss it. But I just can't bring my self to it. And this thing with thinking in two languages (combined) sure doesn't help...

What's missing is motivation. Not to write...but to dare to write.



I have so many feelings, experienced or imagined, that I have a need to express. Some through dancing. Some through pictures of different kinds; painting, photos. But mostly, through words. But I don't know how to do it anymore. I think it's a fear. Of that what I have to say might not be important enough. Not interesting enough. Not fascinating, not particularly unique or maybe even not very true.



But I'm not aiming to write a fact-book. Just feelings. All over the place. Like a messy abstract painting. What's the story? I don't know... All I know is the characters and their lives and I want to share them with someone. These moments that together creates the pictures, just like life. Maybe what I'm looking for is somebody that wants to read what I've written. I want to write for the sake of writing, I wanna dance even if nobody is watching. But without an audience it doesn't really feel like art. Just some kind of, ha I don't know, maybe therapy?

Maybe it's the story that I'm looking for. The why and when. Not necessarily answered, but at least asked.

Maybe I'm not looking for anything at all. Maybe I've just waited too long, doubted myself too much.

Is it too late?