Notes...

I suck at this. Haven't written in so long. So now everything wants to come out at once. I've been busy, trying to get my life together, and it's been going somewhat well =) but therefor I haven't had any time to write. Don't tonight either. Gotta sleep!! Early morning tmrw but god knows I could easily stay up all night but no no, got rehearsal tomorrow and more important than giving after to all the urges for things I want to get done!

Do you want my mental notes in the meantime? Hockey comparison, obvious election, reaching. Yeah not so interesting like that. I'll try to get to the real thing soon instead, sounds good?

Jag saknar att skriva på svenska. (I miss writing in Swedish)
But blogging is good. To have a blog makes me more inclined to actually write! I don't want it to die out, nope! Thinking about making this blog even more personal...yes, no?
I've been cleaning out my house lately. Just gutting out every shelf and drawer to reorganize. No fancy new furniture or painting or anything, just a reevaluation of my system. I'm a little bit ocd maybe. LOVE it when everything is perfectly organised. Papers in folders. Folders in cases. Cases on shelf. With door. Wow. I hope the wellprotectedness doesn't say something about my personality. Or why not.
Back to the subject of Swedish. I was in the belly of a Swedishspeaking mom. I've been very talkative all my life. Which I mostly lived in Sweden. Been writing a lot, been studying as well, in Swedish. So how come when I go through some papers and find an old recipe, I stare at the word "basilika" and can not understand what it means. It's a recipe, so I know it's a spice. But it was only the similarity to the English word that led me to the conclusion it meant basil.

It has happened to me before. That I stared at a common Swedish word and even though I slowly can figure out what it means I still didn't find the feeling for the word, feeling what it meant, like how I do with most other words.
I speak Swedish almost every day here. Or at least every other. Or third. Or something like that. But it's so accepted to just use the English word instead when that's what comes up first in my head.

I feel a bit stupid. It shouldn't be so hard to speak (read) my first language fluently! Especially not as it's almost the only language I spoke for my first 20 years!!! It feels slightly scary since I know I could never be as good at English as I am in Swedish.
I guess the reason is that I never get put in Swedish situations. In the store, on the phone, at the street, on the subway, at class, it's always English. Swedish I only speak with friends. When we chose to not speak English to each other.
I should read more Swedish books again!!

And speaking of should...I should be writing my bio now instead of this! (Not the book, that comes later ;) just a short thing for school) Now it's too late, gotta sleep.

Thanks for reading.
Will write more soon.