Flashback...

I suddenly had a flashback and I don't really know if this is the right place to share this but why not? =)
I remembered how mean the boys could be. The meanest of them all (to me) weren't the boys in school that were harassing the girls. (Literally sexually harassing, and the teachers refused to listen, but that my friends is a different story.)
What I remember is how mean the guys who wanted something were. Really what they wanted I never really could figure out, because God forbid they would tell, but I've done my guesses. Maybe they fell in love, maybe they just wanted you to fall in love with them, maybe they just wanted a moment of attention. That far it's all really innocent and maybe even cute. What bothers me is what happens next. When they don't get that attention. No reaffirmation. No admiring. Then all of the sudden the nasty words and stories got spread like the winter flu. From mouth to mouth, those harsh words and stories. Silent treating or name calling. Maybe sometimes exaggerations but mostly straight out lies. That everybody wanted to believe, because the one to question would receive the same treatment.

When you sometimes started to get close to someone. Believing you're finding a friend. You got disappointed when they told you, or showed you, this wasn't enough. The disappointment wouldn't end there but escalate for every story you heard trying to attempt to damage your name and your person.

And the girls weren't much better themselves. Believing what they heard or pretending so to gain approval. Maybe using them to get what they themselves desired. Well all is fair in love and war as they say. And the line between love and war is often fine in that age.

If I would ever to complain about the way things went down...well, I usually couldn't. Because most of my so called friends saw this as something I should be flattered by, since I obviously wanted attention so much. (Why would I otherwise have done such a thing as TALKING to a GUY?) So trying to defend myself was bragging. If it all had started with someone showing interest in me I should be grateful. It seemed like the general opinion was that if you got that, it was worth whatever aftermath it might have. And if I ever tried to tell my version of what had happened it was obvious that since I cared so much it must have been me that was in love with the guy and not the other way around.

Well now afterwards when I'm older and I know the stories can't touch me I look back at this time nostalgically. A life so filled with drama explains why I never was too much into watching any tv-series. ;)

The times have changed. The girls are now women and good friends. But every once in a while I still meet so called men behaving exactly by the same pattern as those boys from long ago.

To me friendship have always been the most precious thing. If you're not ready for that you're not ready for any kind of relationship.

(Hmmm...If men treated women as humans and not as objects I don't think this would be much of a problem. )

You might get disappointed when somebody you like more than just as a friend don't want the same as you do, and it's ok to be disappointed...but how much do you really like a person if you are ready to punish them for not liking you exactly the way you want them to?

As I see it, the most attractive characteristic is being able to be a good friend. Even if you want something more and it doesn't happen at once, it's a good place to start. It might never happen but do you lose something in gaining an extra friend?
Anyways I'd prefer that than to gaining an enemy...which you are if you are telling lies and stories about someone just because they didn't want the same as you.