Eating luxury chocolate, played some video games, then started cleaning out the fridge, all while my lungs are burning. Coughing now too. Freezing for a while, sweating for a while: obviously fever.
Should be impossible to get another cold again, but obviously not. And there's nothing I can do. Just another virus, just bad luck. =( Miss dancing sooooooo much.
The days (and nights) are getting so messed up after a period of just being sick. No energy and sleeping for a few hours, awake for a few, bored but no energy to actually do something. Blach, this is so frustrating.
Well... it could be worse I guess.
Listened to some Beatles and started thinking about how almost ironic it is that they were THE first big rock band, that started a phenomena, and they are still the best. Nothing can yet barely reach their level, and even if so surely not pass it... kind of amazing.
Maybe that's just my opinion?
Maybe that is why they were so good? Not in any genre yet, they dared to do something new and just go for it. Without expectations and not following any rules. Kind of what I'm aiming to do with my dancing. Dare to try my own approach. Try to forget about expectations. Explore with trial and error, find out what my audience wants and what I want to express. Find out how important it is to please and how important it is that I get to say what I want to say.
The balance between narcissism and sell-out... the balance between being the object or the subject, balance between having the attention and communicating.
Is art equal? How can I actually explore this? How can I change it into taking a form I want it to be?
Now I need to get healthy so I can start (continue) my path into creating art, maybe even be art. So I can write about the process, not just my expecting thoughts.
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