The calm AFTER the storm ;)

New York is tucked in.
Under a cover of snow.
The blizzard that hit NYC two days ago gave all us high wound New Yorkers a reason to stay in, stay at home, close down our businesses and comfortably relax. Use what we already have at home. Pretend like the outside world stopped existing because of the snow.

It's so empty outside. Quiet. Streets are almost empty of cars and the car services are shut down. I don't blame them after all the cars that got stuck in the snow in the middle of the road.

But it has stopped snowing now.
So I expect New York to get back to it hectic self by tomorrow.

Thanksgiving

I spent Thanksgiving with all non Americans. But I must say we did a pretty good job at celebrating this american holiday =)

Here's some before and after pics:

Before:

After:

Snowstorm vs 83 degrees

This morning I received a picture from my brother in snowy Sweden and another picture from my friend in Hawaii. As I'm giggling a bit at the contrasts I'm also thinking about how much I want, need, to travel, and these two images really represents to where.

My body is craving sunshine and vacation, relaxing at a beach somewhere warm and to swim in the ocean! But my soul craves a visit where I have my roots. To go back to where I come from, the place that will always be a part of my identity. Above all, I NEED to see my family. I miss them so much it has become an aching pain I'm constantly carrying around. I also have friends there I'm missing so badly; I feel like I'm missing a part of myself.

If all goes well, cross your fingers and say a prayer please, I'll go to Sweden in February or early spring.

If I somehow could afford it that would give me enough time to go on a short vacation somewhere.

Money...ah, sigh.

So many holes to fill.

My laptop is getting older and older, soon it will retire, if it doesn't go senile first... I haven't had a camera since I lost mine about five months ago, my creativity is itching for a new one.

Being winter and all i also feel a need to improve my home, my clothes and things like a new blanket for example.

But soon I'll be climbing on the walls if I don't get out of this city! Only fun if I know I get to come back of course! =) I love my home; my New York City. Although if I don't get any other perspective soon I might grow to resent it. I really don't want that to happen because life here can be so fantastic!

.........How to prioritize?

It is time to stop being scared.

Some of the amazing drink decorations at Painkiller:

An amazing drink

Winter!?!?!

So winter is back :(

Currently 43 degrees outside! Brrr...

Yesterday it was still pretty nice outside, even though it was cold the sun was out and I played Tennis for the first time in my life. (Maybe I played like twice as a kid but I can't really remember. Loved to play badminton though (:)

It was really fun and definitely something I will do again. Especially since they have lots of tennis courts in the park right next to the building I'm living in.

But my right arm is shaking some today still, haha.

Sun through the rain

The other day I got this year's first mosquito bites. It's usually awful for me, and so was these at first. Three on one knee, two on the other. But this time I treated them with aloe vera gel and I've never seen mosquito bites fade that fast on me :)

Just wanted to share that knowledge as a recommendation. =)

Managed to be pretty productive today already; I've done two loads of laundry, done dishes, organized and cleaned at home, also took a walk in the soft spring rain to the deli and did some miner grocery shopping. Loved that rain, it was raining a lot under massive clouds, but the drops were so light and the birds were singing while you could see the sun slowly working it's way through the sky. Raised my mood so much.

Hope I have some energy left to see my visiting swedes tonight =)

Good morning

Been awake for a few hours already. Was hoping it would be nice weather outside so I could make the most of the day but forecast is saying thunderstorm...

Well, could be nice with some rain to get rid of some pollen :)

I've been so tired lately

but still have had a hard time sleeping.

Think I've had a cold on top of the allergies. Worst spring ever.. .when it comes to allergies.

The plan is to do something fun tonight, with some of my friends that's still here visiting NYC, so I'll get a chance to get my mind off of it. Gonna be fun! But I'm gonna need a nap midday then for sure. Siesta. =)

More Painkiller

So tonight is the opening of Painkiller.

I wish I had a picture of the pretty drinks when they were just made, but they were so good that they disappeared too fast ;)

Painkiller

The coolest bar in NYC will open this Friday: Painkiller

A tiki bar, mixed with the concept of 1970's New York culture.

Painkiller is the name of a cocktail, which they of course will be serving there.

I tried it the other day on their friends&family opening: delicious.

Well, honestly, there's very few drinks these guys can make that I wouldn't adore.

Here are some other reviews of Painkiller that I found.

Google by google doesn't work with google

(This happened on my swedish account so I must write another post not in English. I appologize to everyone who doesn't understand swedish...)

Jag kunde inte logga in på mitt email konto. Gmail. By Google. (Viktigt att tillägga i sammanhanget.)

Så jag felsöker. Följande fråga kommer upp och jag kryssar i "inget av ovanstående":

Vilken webbläsare använder du? Firefox Internet Explorer Safari Inget av ovanstående

Andra webbläsare har tyvärr inte fullt stöd i Gmail, och Gmail-funktionerna kanske inte fungerar korrekt i dem.

Det spännande i sammanhanget är att jag har Google Chrome. By Google. Och den webbläsaren har inte fullt stöd i G-mail???

Vad är det jag missar? Om det är så att Google chrome används via någon av de ovanstående skulle det ju förklara saken men fortfarande väldigt dumt uttryckt. Kan någon förklara för en datanalfabet som jag?

Uppenbarligen kan jag ju nu logga in på mitt Blogger konto iaf...

Nu loggade jag in på engelska versionen och där finns plötsligt Google Chrome med!!

Fins inte Chrome i Sverige, är det därför?

Missing

Sometimes it just sucks and eats me up alive that I'm so far away from my family and friends in Sweden.

To not be there to share the good times and to not be there through the hard. I'm also grieving that I'm missing the small details in the every day life that is so valuable.

For them of course but also for myself, I WANT TO.

But I guess I can't give up my own life in order to share theirs.

Starting this summer I'll definitely travel to Sweden more often!

Until then I can just wish they know how much I'm thinking about them, missing them and wishing we would see each other more often.

Especially my highly loved and adored mother and brother. The best.

Both of my previous room mates are back in the city for a few weeks. Both very excited to be back :) Going for dinner tonight.
I can tell it's spring; so much is going on and NYC is really blooming.
Literally and metaphorically.
I'm already over spring though, want it to be summer again =D

It's now 86 degrees. That's 30 celcius. Not spring, but summer. Wonderful fantastic summer. Soon going to go on a picnic.
It's kind of funny it's this week exactly that the weather is so brilliant; I have three friends that's currently visiting the city (and they did not come together). Plus that I don't have too many obligations this week either. So perfect.

Goodmorning summer! Already 77 degrees outside so now I'm preparing brunch to eat at the balcony. Summer makes me so incredibly happy, all problems vanish to the background, it gets so easy to enjoy the present.

SJUKDOM

Jag är så less på den här SJUKDOMEN som jag har. Ingen annan ser det som en sjukdom, nej det är bara jag som är tråkig, lat, bortskämd och opålitlig.

För många människor är allergier att man nyser ibland eller bara helt enkelt måste låta bli att äta en viss sorts nöt. Och astma är det väl bara att ta medicin då det blir jobbigt att andas.

I mitt liv har det haft långt mycket större effekt.

I perioder skärmar jag av mig från vänner, känner bara att jag sviker dem ändå varje gång jag uteblir för att jag mår för dåligt. Genom skolåren har jag utsatts för rena trakasserier från lärare och skolpersonal, än mindre fått den hjälp jag efterfrågat. Jag har bemötts av misstro, fientlighet och smutskastning, som fått mig att tvivla på mig själv. Jag har känt mig tvingad att göra mycket som jag egentligen inte orkar, vilket får mig att känna mig även mentalt utbränd. Jag känner att jag aldrig har tid med avslappnande vila när jag är frisk, för jag uppfyller, och överfyller, min kvot av ”vila” (dvs lidande) då jag är sjuk. Jag oroar mig ofta för framtiden, kommer min sjukdom hindra mig från att komma dit jag vill i livet?

Jag har varit infektionskänslig hela mitt liv, blivit sjuk ofta, och länge. Oftast bara ständiga förkylningar, ibland lunginflammationer, återkommande bihåleinflammationer och influensor. För att inte tala om de otäcka, och smärtsamma, livshotande allergiattackerna. Detta gör att jag missat mycket i mitt liv. Jag har inte hunnit allt som många friska 29-åringar har hunnit med.

Allt detta har inte endast medfört dåliga saker. Det har lärt mig att ta till vara på den tiden då jag orkar vara med, då jag orkar göra något. Göra det mesta och det bästa av tiden; jag har lärt mig vara effektiv och samtidigt njuta av nuet. Eftersom jag tvingats strida för mig och min rätt har jag fått en envis kämpaglöd som inte går av för hackor. Jag har lärt mig att allt inte alltid behöver göras på det förväntade sättet, det finns många omvägar för att nå ett mål.

Även om jag många gånger önskar att något bara kunde få vara enkelt för en gångs skull...

Jag har valt att se det som så att alla har sina strider i livet. Nästan allt annat i livet har jag haft tur med, så det här är väl mitt kors att bära. Om jag inte hade det skulle jag inte blivit lika erfaren, lika medveten om de orättvisor som faktiskt finns. Det är alltid skillnad att stå utanför och tycka när man orkar, mot för när ögon tvingas öppnas även då man inte orkar. Det har fått mig att inse och förstå hur andra orättvisor och kamper kan kännas. Kort sagt: det har gett mig empati.

Astma och allergi. BAH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AuZMRYcN_s

Men vilken djävla skitfilm!!

Om du är sjuk av astma och allergi så är det du SJÄLV som inte diskuterat med din doktor!

För du kan må helt bra. JAHA MEN VA BRAAAA DÅ!

Så om jag fick RÄTT behandling skulle jag känna ENERGI under pollensäsongen! Jaså? Kan nån ge mig numret till den läkaren NU!!!

Dessutom, astma måste behandlas av doktor, men allergimedecin finns att köpa receptfritt på apoteket...

Den här är alltså utlagd av astma och allergi förbundet!! Får mig att tro att ingen av dem har haft allergier.

För det första: Jag har en kronisk bihåleinflammation som bl.a. får min käke att knaka varje gång jag öppnar och stänger munnen och så har det vart sen Oktober 2008. Som han ungefärligt säger: allt är del av samma inflammation...men min käke är ju inte astma, då måste det ju falla under allergi (orsakat av allergi,"nästäppa"), så det finns tydligen receptfri medecin på apoteket mot detta? BRA: GE MIG!

(Vanlig nässpray hjälper INTE, tro mig, jag har försökt. Däremot hoppas jag att en bra doktor skulle kunna skriva ut någonting som får det att lätta lite. Letar fortfarande efter en sån doktor dock.)

För det andra...varför kan inte ens de som jobbar med astma och allergi fatta att allergier är inte bara är

"NÄSTÄPPA

RINNSNUVA

KLIANDE ÖGON
NYSNINGAR"

Det är ju en konstant påfrestning av immunförsvaret som gör mig sjuuuuuuk. <---HATA.

Löjligt kanske men blir så grymt sur för tänkte vända mig till deras sida för lite förstående... HA och det här var första jag såg de länka till på hemsidan... (Under senaste nytt)

Blir bara så urless att när det pratas om allergier så pratas det bara om de akuta symptomen och det saknas alltid en helhetsbild.

Hur ska folk bli informerade om vad allergier kan innebära när inte ens riksförbundet ämnat detta inte kan meddela det?

De påstår ju att detta är deras uppgift, i alla fall delvis. Eller att de "vill" det.

Men än en gång samma budskap:... det är MITT fel att jag är sjuk. Om jag ville må bättre kunde jag.

Jag vill. Så *POPP* nu ska det bara hända? För jag har gått till läkare och det var ju det enda jag behövde göra enligt filmen?

First blooming tree this year

I'm posting a lot of phone pictures...because it's so simple. The quality is maybe not that great but yesterday I discovered that the quality of the actual iPhone is flawless, close to unbreakable.

I was running full speed, didn't notice that my phone jumped up from my pocket, it crashed on the pavement. Of course it got a small scratch on it but that was all and it works fine. It wasn't the first time I've dropped it either.
I'm impressed.

Spring

Sitting in Madison square garden right now. 71 degrees. (That's 22
celcius)
In March! Lovely, right? The trees hasn't even started to bloom yet. The new yorkers and tourists filling up the
parks, eating ice cream and are happy =)

Good morning!

As you can see todays forecast looks even more promising ha ha.

The moon is very misleading, I actually woke up by bright sun in my eyes, so it's up already alright.

Yesterday I spent the entire day in the sun, walking around, drinking coffee and catching up with friends while New Yorkers stumbled by half drunk in their green outfits. The mood was on top all over the city. People were cheery and happy. St.Patty's day and blazing sun seemed to have lifted everybody's mood.

The nice and friendly american comes out in everybody and the rude winter new yorker is gone for the season.

It's really true as they say that New York is like a different city during spring. Lovely lovely atmosphere!

Looks promising!

So today I plan on being lazy in the sun... =)

If I don't fall asleep. Was at an event with open champagne bar last night and woke up early this morning...so I might surrender to a midday nap noon coming. I'm gonna try to get myself out the door and a cup of coffee before that happens. We'll see. I'm a bit hesitant because it's st. Patrick's day today... which means the city is gonna be packed with drunk people starting around brunch. In New York everyone always welcome every reason to get smashed. Irish or not. Well in that aspect I guess it's just like Sweden. Ha.

Happy St. Patrick's day!

Slow

Video still not processed...

I'm eating pizza from the italian restaurant downstairs... mmm yummy...

Taking it easy today, resting up, have had a bad cold, starting to feel slightly better, I think, I hope.

I love living here in Astoria.

In the beginning of the week we went furniture shopping in the spring sun at Steinway. Nice helpful people and delicious brunch: best breakfast crepe ever; with spinach, vegetables and, yes, eggs! Sounded interesting, could've tasted weird but no, it was exactly what I needed that day =)

Today it's raining like crazy... been raining since yesterday and still coming down heavy. The wind is roaring outside the windows. Perfect day to be in and eat warm food! =)

Connection and processing mishaps - theme of the week?

Hmm... I wrote a post before the other snow picture posts to kind of introduce them, but I added a video and it's still processing! So slow... I deleted and added it again, I was thinking it must be something wrong when it takes that long, but maybe I just made it take even longer?

Btw is anybody even reading my blog anymore?

I know I'm slow at posting every now and then but I would still be very happy if you cared to comment some... I think it would encourage me to write more often =)

*******************************

I have just had 48 hours of internet issues... I'm not kidding. I had set up my new wireless printer to my wifi... Printer worked fine but wifi stopped working after a while, even though it said I was connected, I just couldn't browse. Then the printer connection stopped working, but wifi started to work. Just to stop working so nothing at all worked recently. I tried troubleshooting the printer...or I was going to try to but it said it had to be connected via USB to be able to troubleshoot. Then I realized that in order to hook up the printer via USB to my computer I need a USB to USB cord... (right?) Or am I missing something?? Of all the USB cords I have they look different in both ends like "a normal USB cord". And of course the printer didn't come with one, so I couldn't even trouble shoot.

I just redid the entire connection set up instead. Now it all works! Smoothly! Knock on wood that it lasts.

I feel like a genius for solving the problem

my obviously not genius me somehow must've created. =P

Later on at night...

...there was even more snow!

This is what I should've done =)

This could be somewhere in northern Sweden!

After a long day of walking around in the snow,

now it was my time to cuddle up inside =D

The February Blizzard.

When everybody else declared themselves beaten by the snow and cuddled up inside, (with blankets and hot chocolate in front of a movie, I imagine) I went out in the winter landscape, as the true Swede I am ;P

Once in Manhattan the snow was more like rain.

I got worried it would all melt away at once.

Like most of the stores that day:

Tired day

Had some trouble breathing today. Stupid allergies.

Hmpfhh...air is overrated anyways.

For my fellow Swedes

Ni har antagligen redan sett det här

men jag såg det först nu så jag lästa detta

och kände mig tvungen att kommentera följande:

När väljaren är mig uppfattas den svartvita bilden med den orange-blåa loggan (Under Affisher. Person.) inte alls som dokumentär eller förmedlar allvar. Den tar inte tag i mig. Jag tror inte heller detta beror på att han trots allt har en slags kostymjacka på sig. Nej jag tycker det förmedlar feghet. Det speglar exakt dokumentets budskap. Ett parti som vill gömma "människan" bakom partiet. Individuella röster ska tystas.

Jag undrar ju dessutom var alla dessa ord som inte ska användas kommer ifrån? Uppenbarligen måste de ju finnas aktivt inom partiet för att ens tas upp, så det motbevisar ju sig själv. Moderaterna uppmanar enbart till att använda andra ord för samma begrepp. Det handlar inte om att försöka driva en åsikt, utan bara om att kalla "same shit a different name". Det är falskt och påklistrat.

I've come to that age when I start to blame myself for daring to dream. Some kind of wisdom inside is telling me to not give up too early. That I will regret it whole heartedly when I mature even more and come to the realization that to at least try to reach for your dream is the only way to truly live.
Intelectual knowledge is however not the same as knowing and feeling from experience.

Was it in a cheesy tv-series, in a book or a movie where they sad the quote that made me see my reasoning in a new light? "I don't fight to win, I fight to survive".

No matter how hard it is, how impossible it seems, I'm not dreaming only of success, i have made a choice of who I am. In my attempt to grasp something deeper and more meaningful I've found my passion. Isn't that in itself a treasure to guard with my life?

It's sound to question yourself but to doubt yourself is destructive. I don't know where on the scale question your questioning is but I do know that I have to ask in order to get answers. Yet again I do not ask to get answers always, I ask questions to see different possibilities. There is no pure truth or pure untruth. There are question without answers, but all questions forces you to think.
Maybe even makes you find answers to questions you didn't think of asking.

Snow

No storm yet though. But will maybe come later. Schools are closed. The dance studio as well. I'm cuddling up inside listening to the wind that is getting stronger as I write this. A day for cookies and movies.

Snowstorm?

So I've heard it started snowing in some parts of New York now.

It's said to be a snow storm. Schools are gonna close down.

Dance classes might be cancelled. I and who was gonna dance tomorrow =(

I wonder though....if it's maybe just gonna be 5 snow flakes and a little windy.

New York is not really prepared for snow storms. Takes it by surprise every year. Every winter I've lived here, except last year, there's been some heavy snowing and yet they've never learned to deal with it. Always chocking. Everything always closes down. Kind of funny. And cozy.

Perfect night to stay in with a glass of wine.

Even superman has his kryptonite. The ones that reads the comics know. I'm superwoman and peanuts are my kryptonite. If you read my blog you know ;)

Night Words

Sitting at the balcony with a cup of homemade ginger cinnamon tea. Even though I don't think you found your way to this page yet: Thank you Gus for that recipe, always been a pick-me-up throughout the years :)
I'm so nauseous. Been ever since a week ago when I had a severe allergy reaction. Yep, one of those life threatening ones only peanuts can give you. I was lying on the cold pavement puking with my throat shutting close more and more, could hardly breath, and quickly became unable to communicate. Humbling to say the least. Both my body and mind panicking.
...Well I survived.
I'm grateful to be alive. Just bothered that my body gotten so weakened because I can't wait to make the most of the life I still have. Sitting around exhausted and nauseous is interfering with my precious time! I'm too excited.
My birthday on the 5th. Going to celebrate it, embrace it. A week ago I would probably have felt more anxious about the fact I'm getting older. Now I'm just happy about it =)

Brought some candles out here that I lit up. Made me remember my very best friend, when we were very young, we meet up somewhere outdoors in our beautiful hometown, far away from anybody else’s ears, almost always one of us had brought candles that we lit in the cold northern nights. As long as we had them our secrets were more important than freezing toes.

Today I made lattes and cappuccinos for stressed people, then a book signing at a mystery book store and gained a few bottles of fine wine. Tonight I watched a bad movie, with friends, which had its fine message and now I'm sitting here.
Exhausted since it's only the second day since the allergy reaction I've even been standing up. But I've been tired for so many days now that tiredness isn't a signal for the body to sleep anymore.
But I have the rest of the week to rest up so I'm sure it will even out.

I'll take a picture with my phone for you:

Yes I know I should probably take down the red snowflakes from the balcony but just because Christmas is over doesn't mean winter is...even though it seems like it soon is here ;)